He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize