the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
