He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
