You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
