The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
