He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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