Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
