is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
