Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Be still, my beating vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
