What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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