dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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