doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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