3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
