I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Randomize
