he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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