i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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