Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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