I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
