My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
