My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
