Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
