I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
