he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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