i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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