I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
