make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
