im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm too high and old for this...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
