I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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