I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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