Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
