i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
