please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
A+ Viking dick
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
