Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.

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(214): View more from Texas

a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex

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(647): View more from Ontario

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.

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(310): View more from California

I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

(310): View more from California

Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.

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