We're facebook friends in real life
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
