I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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