The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
