Your mouth is God's brothel.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Help. Why am I so naked?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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