id be glad to
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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