Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry sjy0311 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv

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(573): View more from Missouri

how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?

Fav 7 3506 857
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(519): View more from Ontario

Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

Fav 13 1729 5611
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(410): View more from Maryland

Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?

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(210): View more from Texas

Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.

Fav 8 837 1401
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(206): View more from Washington

i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.

Fav 4 1257 838
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(406): View more from Montana

I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?

Fav 2 549 383
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(317): View more from Indiana

I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date

Fav 0 23 33
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(614): View more from Ohio

-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins

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