I want to make a zoo with you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
