the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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