Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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