Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
