pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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