Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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