I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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