she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dignity is for republicans.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I touched a dick in church today
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
