it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
