every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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