garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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