i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
