Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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