Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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