??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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