If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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