Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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