Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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