Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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