So drunk its hurt
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
