Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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