it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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