Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize