theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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