butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
