Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize