I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
