I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't think brook has ever known best
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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