kristin has been a bad kristin
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this just has baby written all over it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
