the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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