We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize